It is Wednesday evening and I am completely and utterly exhausted. The last two days have been completely chaotic and totally draining. What I can only describe as forty eight hours of ‘full speed’ parenting. One of my daughters started ‘big school’ with all of the anxieties and emotions connected with that, whilst the other one started ‘big tantrums’ with all of the tears and stamping of feet connected with that! These particular life stages of my children mean that my days (and nights) have been full of the following activities; consoling a crying wet child in the middle of the night; stripping a soiled bed at 3.00am; decamping to another bed when the other wriggling child came in at 4.00am; being woken up at 6.00am with demands for breakfast and a request to do painting!; dealing with the growing and seemingly never ending mountain of washing; getting a stroppy and uncooperative two year old dressed and then dressed again (because she did NOT want to wear a dress!); getting an anxious and uncooperative four year old ready for school; cooking dinner in between dealing with a child who had done a poo in her knickers.
Deep breath. Large sigh. Another deep breath. And relax. And reflect. And rewind. And take myself back to my coaching session with Bonnie on Monday morning. A blissful hour, in such nurturing surroundings, a log fire burning, two candles flickering on the table, a large cup of herbal tea, inspirational words in a frame on the wall, clean lines, calm colours, the kind of soap in the loo which you know is made of natural ingredients. Every detail of this home seems to have been carefully thought through by someone who knows who they are, someone with clear goals, values and aspirations. Bonnie is calm and welcoming and she puts me at ease immediately. I feel safe to share my thoughts with her and confident in her ability to help, guide and gently question me through this coaching process.
Prior to our first session Bonnie asked me to complete some paperwork. It involved thinking about my values, my life balance, my personality and attributes and noting some initial thoughts about ‘outcomes’ and what I would like to achieve through this coaching experience. The act of spending timing just thinking about myself and what changes I would like to make felt like a really empowering first step. However, I definitely felt that there were areas that I was a bit ‘stuck’ on and looked forward to having some help and guidance from Bonnie.
During the first session I rambled on and went off at tangents and tried to work out what my goals and outcomes might be. Bonnie listened and guided me with careful and sometimes challenging questions. It was an excellent and inspiring meeting and I left with a spring in my step feeling good about my life and the possibilities for the future. However, the daily events of family life that have come in between the session and now have left that feeling far behind! The challenge for me is to somehow filter that reflection, focus and positivity into my daily life.
My goals are, ’to feel like and be a more positive and optimistic person’ and ‘to have more clarity about the direction I want my professional life to take’. I will let you know how I get on with these.
My ‘homework’ this week is to think about, “What resources do I have in me that will help me achieve my goals?” Here is my (very positive and optimistic)answer!
– Love for my children and my husband and love for my family.
– The desire to have a better life and the desire to have fun.
– The knowledge that I have the ability to feel and be positive.
– The desire and ability to make changes happen.